Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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