I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
