I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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