Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
