I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
This couple is walking their pig around campus
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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