she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
