My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
