It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I touched a dick in church today
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
