well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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