Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
