weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
