Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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