I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
