Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
