I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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