I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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