you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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