U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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