Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize