I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize