the condom got lost in my hair
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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