You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
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I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
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His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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