I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
