Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
