your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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