You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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