I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Randomize
