dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
