I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Randomize
