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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.

  (1-608): View more from Wisconsin

  Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.

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• (636): View more from Missouri

  Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour

  (513): View more from Ohio

  its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem

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• (251): View more from Alabama

  He managed to light the Jello on fire...

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• (313): View more from Michigan

  The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.

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• (305): View more from Florida

  I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.

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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job

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• (481): View more from

  I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW

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• (417): View more from Missouri

  If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.

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• (+61): View more from Australia

  my god I love twenty year old dicks

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...

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