I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Sober January is a disaster.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Randomize
