nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
