was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
