I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The air was thick with penises
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize