a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize