As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
