She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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