I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
