Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
