Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
