Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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