I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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