Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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