she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
