if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize
