This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
