Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
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He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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