so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
