We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
