Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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