How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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