Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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