i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just sucked dick on a ferry
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
