You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Well I just put wine in my tea
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Randomize
