I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
