she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
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