Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
