just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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